Classmate Response Week #5

When Things Thrum in the Depth of Night

By: David Mathis

You’ll find it if you seek it—that place that wells up deep within us all. That presence that will take a person’s head, sink it beneath the black waves and hold it. You’ll find you can see it—that place where no light can reach; where the depths enfold you in loving arms and as you spiral, you can feel your senses tingle in anticipation. It gores you like a knife between the ribs. Fast. Hard. Jagged—but you like it. You might manage a cough— possibly you hiss as your flesh is flayed. Coals, hot and red heat your eyes and you spread shredded wings to fly. You plummet, though you once soared and should you plummet far, you’ll find the frozen dread of a depthless ocean. It will whisper to you. 

Inhale, it will say. It will repeat it time and time again—inhale. You will freeze. Tumbling in the deepest waters, your will tear your mask off and struggle, bear. What happens next, I cannot say, for I am not you, but remember to paddle. 

It will find you if you seek it. That light that shines, burns the brine from your back, sears off the coral. It glows with a faint warmth, though to touch it is to sting—only at first though. Take heart, you can embrace it. It will envelop you and you will rise as the water boils away from you, churning in tremendous bubbles. You will rise above the surface and from your perch, you will see that the sea was a lake. Every sea is only just a lake. 

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I really like this... I think this piece is extremely well written and I like the entire concept of it. It's hard to continuously write in second person  (at least for me) and keep everything gender neutral but I think David does it very well. It targets everyone that reads it and keeps them hooked till the end… which I have to say, the ending is pretty awesome. Also, I like his use of language. It's simple and harsh but I think that adds to the mysterious feel of it. In all honestly, I would strongly urge David to not change anything about this but that is just my opinion.