Classmate Response Week #1

Classmate: Lucas Chance

"Bald poets grin in mug shots shown
while bearded boys crash cars
headlong with qhite trucks
blondes celebrate birthdays in the corner
with dancing people taking up her floor
Russian women kill chickens-+
becase it's her dream to have red sleeves
and Mirror Men die of disease"

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To me, this poem is like a bunch of little snap shots that make a whole. That makes it really unique but at the same time it leaves me wanting more… There is such a small portion of each topic that it makes it a little confusing and makes me wonder what is actually happening. I think you have a lot of room to expand on each topic. Who are the bald poets? Why are the blondes in the corner? What kind of chickens? Who is are the Mirror Men? I’m just curious! Also, half way through the poem you start using a personal pronoun. You go from “boys” and “blondes” to “her” then you jump back and stay “Russian women” and then you go back to “her”… The jump from a noun to a pronoun and then back to a noun makes it a little awkward (at least that’s what I’m told because I like to do that a lot too).  On another note, I L-O-V-E the “Russian women kill chickens” line, it jumped out at me. That’s not an image you often see in poetry (or at least that that I usually see). Also, the line following it, “because it’s her dream to have red sleeves” is just as awesome! Those two lines take the poem to a totally new leave of awesome.