Reading Response Week #2

Second Reading Response of Week #2

Writing Poetry -- Chapter Two: Form and Structure

I feel like this chapter was basically written for me because I suck at form and structure… I am not scared of the blank page, once an idea sinks its hooks into me I have no issue getting started. My issue is the fact that I edit in my head, I never have enough on the page to get to the contraction stage. I just simple tweak what I already have on the page and it never expanse. But this chapter gave me an insight about just how much I’m holding myself back by doing that. But with the help of Davidson and Fraser I now have lots of good ideas to “force” myself to expand my work. The “twenty-four student questions, one student answers” idea is the main tool that I have implemented from this chapter. I force myself to write twenty-four lines based on the twenty-four questions and then go back and cut out the bad. Then I do my normal tweaking.

Reading Response Week #2

First Reading Response of Week #2

Denise Duhamel

The Barbie poems Duhamel wrote really threw me off. It’s hard enough for me to write one poem about a single subject which makes me impressed that she could write a ridiculous amount of poems about just one. Also, I like that fact that none of the poems I read were repetitive (except for the Barbie thing). Same subject but totally different ideas in each poem… I mean, in three poems the class read Barbie goes from being a confused hippie, to being in rehab (after passing a few hands) where she prays to Mattel and then ends up as a 5^th century Buddhist. Each poem has a different theme, length, style and a completely different vibe. BUT I also feel that Duhamel is taking the easy road in a way. She is obsessing over one topic; therefore, she does not experience the adventure/pain of having to find a new subject every time. I know hippies, rehab and Buddha are different topics but she is still leaning on Barbie to bring the poem together every time. I acknowledge that it takes a lot of talent to be able to diversify one subject to such an extent but at a certain point it just made me lose interest.

Classmate Response Week #2

Kelly's poem!

I hear it calling out to me from everywhere.
No, I tell myself.
Don't listen.
Don't obey.
The more it calls out to me, the harder it is to resist.
After toying with the idea, I finally give in.
Later, I wish I hadn't, knowing I can't take it back.
Will there ever be a cure for this addiction?

----------------------------------------------------------
 

First off, I’d just like to say that I think it is awesome Kelly was inspired by an episode of intervention. It’s a really good idea and I’ll definitely be looking into it! Anyways, I think this is a good poem but I think with a little tweaking it has the potential to be a-freakin’-mazing. It has a lot of room of expansion… at the end of the poem I was left wanting more. There are really deep seeded emotions when dealing with drug addiction and I think she pokes at them but I know she has the potential to beat the hell out of them and put them on the paper (…internet… blog… whatever). She says it’s “calling out to me”… What is it saying? I want to know how the person feels when they are resisting, how is the body reacting to the withdrawal, how long does it take to give in, how does she feel when she finally gets her fix and what is the reaction when the realization of her failure sets in? I really like the “don’t listen / don’t obey” part. It’s simple but powerful.  I just wanted to yell “NO DON’T DO IT!” at my computer screen.

Random Impulse

Second Random Impulse of Week #2

This is just a random free write. For some reason, all my free rights are either about strip clubs or assassinations.  This has both!

--------------------------------------------------

Ungodly music boomed in my ears, I felt as if I was trapped in the never ending elevator whose play list hadn’t been updated since the mid 70s. And I wasn’t even in a damn elevator. I was in a strip club.

Yes. Me. In a strip club… please hold the applause.

             My cheeks were redder than a sunburn in April and my spine was straighter than the pole Candy was dancing on. But business was business and I needed to eat… and feed the cat. Guess who comes first. Why meetings have to take place in a nudey club, I will never know. But I can only guess it’s because I’m the only female in the bunch and of course that means my comfort leave isn’t even on the table. It’s not even a crumble on the table. Hell, it’s not even a crumb next to the table.  But who is really keeping track?

            So why is a nineteen year old meeting with forty-five year old men in a strip club? Well, not having a birth certificate, social security card, driver’s license or even a damn green card makes it kind of hard to find a “real” job. So here I am. Watching Candy flash her goods…which look like a commodity no one should ever throw their money at… with a bunch of older men. What are we talking about? The next political leader on my hit list…

Random Impulse

First Random Impulse of Week #2



Wedding Night:

Tainted hands caresses the ivory body

Fingers entangling in sunshine curls

Crimson lips taste of bitterness

Licking sweet ripples over the skin

Stillness of movement sings a silence

Illuminating the white burial gown

Void is the commitment stain

Leaving purity a noble whore

As a red petticoat spells abortion

With the A sewn upon swollen breast

Falling flight to the feathers of Wrath

As porcelain blues glisten in iridescence

Staring up from the marble table

A toe-tagged Jane Doe then filed

When ashes welcomed the lily child

Junkyard Quotes Week Two

1. "Is it better to out-monster the monster or be quietly devoured?"-Friedrich Nietzche
       Basically, eat or be eaten. I like this quote because it makes me wonder to what extent I will submit to a situation or person before letting the Jersey girl come out.

2. "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." -(Also) Friedrich Nietzche
       This is just an awesome quote that insults all the useless people in the world.

3. "That's as ugly as you old women beating each other with catfish." - Adam Uglum
       This is just not something you expect to hear in everyday conversation... but it inspires a great mental image!

4. "This isn't Geology, we aren't studying rocks. This is Criminology, we're studying drugs, sex and rock n' roll!" -J. Fuller
        I don't think there is a better quote to start a CRIM class with. Pr. Fuller took something most people would consider "serious business" and made it amusing.

5. "You're a malignancy on the ass of humanity" - Some TV show that I can't think of right now...
        Probably one of the best insults of all times, at least in my opinion, but it's like a "high education" insult. It's quit a big step up from just "you're a pain in my ass."

Classmate Response Week #1

Classmate: Lucas Chance

"Bald poets grin in mug shots shown
while bearded boys crash cars
headlong with qhite trucks
blondes celebrate birthdays in the corner
with dancing people taking up her floor
Russian women kill chickens-+
becase it's her dream to have red sleeves
and Mirror Men die of disease"

-------------------------------------

To me, this poem is like a bunch of little snap shots that make a whole. That makes it really unique but at the same time it leaves me wanting more… There is such a small portion of each topic that it makes it a little confusing and makes me wonder what is actually happening. I think you have a lot of room to expand on each topic. Who are the bald poets? Why are the blondes in the corner? What kind of chickens? Who is are the Mirror Men? I’m just curious! Also, half way through the poem you start using a personal pronoun. You go from “boys” and “blondes” to “her” then you jump back and stay “Russian women” and then you go back to “her”… The jump from a noun to a pronoun and then back to a noun makes it a little awkward (at least that’s what I’m told because I like to do that a lot too).  On another note, I L-O-V-E the “Russian women kill chickens” line, it jumped out at me. That’s not an image you often see in poetry (or at least that that I usually see). Also, the line following it, “because it’s her dream to have red sleeves” is just as awesome! Those two lines take the poem to a totally new leave of awesome.